One of the main anxious provoking situations is seeing an adult child of yours making poor choices and decisions and not listening to your advice.
One of the saddest provoking events is seeing a child of yours destroying themselves through drugs, alcohol, gambling or pornography.
One of the frustrating things is that despite all that you have tried to do to help, nothing seems to have worked and your child just goes down hill.
At my aunty’s 90th, i heard a very sad, tragic story about a famous wealthy man who tried to help his son who was addicted to drugs etc. Despite the father’s best efforts and money for rehab services, his son committed suicide.
It is tough to be a parent when things go horribly wrong for your child. We need to believe in a god who can change everything including your child’s situation.
As we pray for our adult children, there are things that we need to believe about God.
1. You must believe that God loves you and your adult children and he will hear your prayers for them. (Romans 8:28)
2. You must believe that God can deliver you from any fears you have about your adult children, (Psalm 34:4)
3. You must believe that God can give you and your adult children what you need when you ask for it. (James 1:6-8)
4. You must believe that no matter how big your adult’s problems are, God is greater. (Luke 18:27)
5. You must believe that because the love and power of God are poured out in you, your prayers for your adult children will always have power. (Romans 5:5)
Prayer is not telling God what to do. Prayer is partnering with God to see that His will be done for your child. You don’t have to fully understand what God’s will is in order to pray that His will be done.
Confess your lack of belief before God. Ask for increase of faith and belief. Bring your child in prayer before God and ask God to provide for all that they need.
“What have I done wrong” says the parent as the child gets into trouble once more with the teacher. Often we feel responsible for our child’s behaviour and blame our parenting for what has happened.
Yet there are no guaranteed formulas. There are some parents who raise their children without any problems through school but once they have moved to University or found a job or don’t get a job, the trouble begins. Or they marry someone with many problems and the marriage struggles in every way and you become a parent again. Or your children make poor choices and now find themselves in deep debt.
If that happens, we can enter into the blame game where we blame ourselves or our spouse or God for not looking after your child and/or answering your prayers.
They did not hand you any handbook on parenting when the first child comes along nor the second or third as you discovered that each child was unique and there was not a one size fits all when it came to your children.
The trouble is as you get older and wiser, you do see where you could have done a better job. You do see the mistakes that you made AND YOU SEE THEIR CONSEQUENCES!
Later your children will blame you for the hole that they had dug for themselves.
It is no help blaming yourself and entering into the blame game. It is no good heaping guilt on your spouse or yourself as it will not affect the situation but it will make you “sick” and your relationship with your spouse can become quite damaged!
The load will become too heavy.
Pray, “Lord, I can’t do anything about what has already happened. Help me to do great things in prayer for my children now. Help me to stop blaming myself for everything I see wrong in my adult children’s lives. Take away any discouragement I feel. I give you my guilt and shame and I ask you to wash me clean by your precious blood and set me free from guilt and shame. In Jesus name.